Letting go and starting anew..

One of the reasons I am thankful are the people that I meet, people who come and go in my life, and my friends..

It's my last day at the office and I never thought I would be this emotional. Yes, I am prepared that I am going to leave, however, it is the way we said goodbye that made me cry. I appreciate all the messages given by people who are close to me and those who are not, who even took time to write even just a short phrase or message. All I can say is thank you.

I am really, really grateful for the people that I was able to meet and become friends with during my 1 year stay in the company. I never thought I would have such a great ending, with the slightest regret on leaving. Of course I didn't like the fact that I'm going to leave the people who'd been closed to me already, but I also do believe that it is the right decision. I know that wherever I'll be, I'll soar high and make the desires of my heart come true.

A big part of letting go is recognizing

when it is time to stay in a situation

and when it is time to move on.

-- Darren L. Johnson

Almost there.

USTv? Check. Yehey. It's done. One more big event to go. The Q Fashion Show on the 24th. At least tonight, I'll have something to write about. We did some media monitoring this morning. There's too many newspapers to check, but actually, some were already checked by Trix yesterday. We were like.. "Okay. Think we're stupid?" Our theory was that, they don't have something for us to do so they're thinking of tasks to assign to us. Anyway, We didn't finish the newspapers (Thank God!) instead, We were called back in the office to do some works. First was the seat labels for today's event. Next was the Media ID's. Then lastly was going with the usherettes in the entrance area.

Saw some artists today, of course. Coco Martin is oh soo handsome pala. Never did I saw him as that handsome. But that perception of mine towards him ends tonight. He's really gwapo. However... he's not that tall. Anyway it doesn't matter. :) Also saw Nikki Gil personally and goodness, she's gorgeous, really. I wasn't able to recognize her immediately, but when somebody called her name, I was like "Oh gosh, si Nikki Gil". Because you really won't recognize him agad. Looks more beautiful than in TV. Wow. There's also Boy Abunda, Kim Atienza, Jessica Soho, Ted Failon, and etc. Ginger was also there. So tall. Like her shoes, by the way. HAHA. :)

Just one thing. I think our office should also be called LMO. Know why? It's 'cause during events, there also be something that needs to be done at the last minute. They love cramming, I supposed. HAHA. Just kidding. LMO = Last Minute Office. :)

Anyway, I had overtime today so I will be able to finish my practicum earlier than expected. I hope. Quite excited for this summer.
I don't have any meaningful thoughts today. Trix and I are really getting along well. She's my one, true friend. Seriously, no joke. Because with her, I can really tell everything. Whatever it is. Without being ashamed. She's really my confidante. One of the persons I trust most next to my boyfriend. I might not be able to tell her, but I really do appreciate her being around. Hope our friendship will last.

HELL.

The annual international tour for students is going to be next week. Bangkok and Chiangmai, Thailand is the chosen destination.

Well.... I'm not joining. Even my friends decided not to join.

For me, it's okay. We have our own plan for the semestral break. A plan to unwind after a STRESSFUL SEM.

But before any of that happens, we have to go through HELL. Yes, hell. We have so many things to do and to finish. Especially since we're not joining, we have a back-up project. Which ,I think, is quite unfair and a lot harder. argh.. :l I don't know what to do.. I'm just tired. :l:l

Ate.

I haven't written much here since last July 20 or something. I guess it's just that, we are too busy right now. I'm busy with school, and busy with our 'business'.

Well, there's not much to talk about. I'm here at the library,typing this blog. We're going to watch a movie later but we're still waiting for a friend. I decided to treat him. Since I'm like an 'ate' to him, I decided, why not. Just this once, I'll treat him.

But........ I'm worried because I didn't bring a lot of money. It's biglaan kasi. I'm not prepared. :l :l *sigh* Anyway, I don't want to back out. I already told him that I'm going to treat him. naku...

I hope we'll enjoy and have lots of fun.
I just won't think na lang of how much I'll have to spend. I'll just think that at least, we're going to enjoy. :))

Is it a bad decision?
I think it's not.

It's better to give than to receive. We don't have to be selfish. We have to share our blessings with others.

I got what I want... what now?

Understanding is the first step to acceptance,
and only with acceptance can there be recovery.
--Joanne Kathleen Rowling


Last night, I got the "unusual" thing that I've been asking for. I got the answer that I've been waiting for. And most of all, I got the truth.

Yeah, the truth.

Truth hurts sometimes, right? I don't know why this is. I don't know why we should be hurt just knowing the truth, when we could be happy and contented because at least we know what is really going on.

Ugh. Is it too soon? I got what I'm asking for in just a matter of days. And I don't know how am I supposed to feel.. I don't know what am I supposed to do. I should be thankful that I knew the truth before I suspect the worst, that I knew what's happening, from her. I don't know. I don't want to feel or think anything about it.

I know that she think that I should get mad at her. But I'm not. I'm not mad at her. Maybe I'm mad at him, but not with her. She's my friend before this happened, and she still is. That shouldn't change just because of these issues. I just felt like I'm quite betrayed. All this time I've been feeling guilty about it, because she is my friend and I've been accusing her of things which I do not have enough evidence. Also, all this time, she's lying to me. When I confronted her about it that same day that I saw them together, she said there was nothing. Then last night, she admitted that she began to like him because he is so nice to her. She knows how I really felt about him, she knows everything. She knows how much I like him, and she knows all the cheesy stuffs that I'm doing, and almost everything that happened between him and me,good or bad. So why?

But she said that she's already avoiding him, and he's also avoiding her. Is that enough?

Well in my opinion, if it's really meant to happen, we cannot do anything about it. We just can't. It's part of the plan. So if fate decides that they should be together, did I really have a choice? My only choice is to deal with it.

Actually, what I suspected before is very different from what I learned last night. I thought that he likes her. But never did I think, ever, that it is the other way around: she likes him.

But I understand. Because I have to.

No really. I understand. I understand that they're in the same building, that they somehow have the same interests, that they might see each other all the time, and that we can't avoid things like this from happening.

So.. what am I going to do?

Waiting is probably the answer. Waiting how it would all turn out. And I guess, accepting is a much better way of coping with it. While waiting, I should start understanding and accepting that things happen. We cannot go back and change it. If it's done, it's done. No turning back.

I should take it all in. And accept. Accept. Accept. Accept. And understand that she never meant for this to happen.

That's what I should do......

But you know what? I know now what I want to do.

I just want to erase this from my memory and forget about it. Forget that it ever happened. Forget everything.

What I LOVE most about you...

We had this activity tonight where we are supposed to tell our friends what we like most about each other. It was a very nice activity because somehow we are quite assured that we are being a nice person to everyone, or at least to our friends. In my opinion, in a way, it helped us improved our self-esteem and help us appreciate ourselves more. We've been able to know our good qualities that other people like most. Through it, we can maintain these qualities, or if it's still possible, we can improve it and be the best friend they can have.


Well. I haven't been able to think about it. I wasn't prepared for this activity so I wasn't really able to tell my girlfriends about what I like most about them.


Icee. Potchi.
Hmm. What I like most about you is your sincerity and kindness. You are always the patient and forgiving one. You never lose patience on me. And I'm really thankful about it because I know I have these bad attitudes sometimes. Even though you are not always talking or saying what you feel, I know that you are always there for us. For me, for Earl, even for Avi. You are, for me, our "ate". The big sister. Because you're the most matured among the three of us. You always think before you speak, or act. You always give advices which really helps me believe in myself more, and have a stronger faith in GOD.

Earl. Bird.
haha. What I like most about you is the kid inside you. You are fun to be with because we had these 'weird' similarities. Like being an avid fan of David Archuleta and Kris Allen. hehe. I don't know. I just really like it when we are thinking about the same things we want to do. Or even the same dreams. The same plans. You know, things like that. I also like your generosity and willingness. Willingness to listen, willingness to help, to offer advices. And I don't know if you already knew about this one, but I'll say it anyway: you are a very sweet person. There are times when you did some things that really touched my heart. Especially two nights ago when you texted me about the things that involved you-know-who. hehe. I hope you got it right. Thanks for being one of the sweetest person whom I know, the one I can turn to all the time.

Avi. Avs.
What I like most about you is also your willingness to listen. It's like, when I was telling you something, or ranting about some stuff, I can feel that you're really listening. I can feel that you really want to understand me and want to offer some advices that could make me strengthen my faith in myself. And I loved you for doing it, 'cause in that way, I learned to appreciate more all the things about me.


So, that's what I love most about them.

I hope that I've been able to let these girls know how important they are for me. Without them, I think I'll never be the same.


"We must not love our friends for what they are, but love them for the angel they might be."

Best-Friends-For-Life ♥

"Though our communication wanes at times of absence, I'm aware of a strength that emanates in the background."

-- Claudette Renner


I saw my BFF's tonight. haha. It was soooo fun because we're still like before. Full of laughter (that's the mild way of describing it. :)) In truth, we are full of laughter because we still teases each other like before. It was like we're still in high school. Good thing none of us are 'pikon'. haha. But it was quite tocuhing because we all have so many things to do and to study, and yet, we still had the time to play the game that Jem has. That's what you can call "friends". We didn't mind that we all had these quizzes tomorrow, and plates to pass. All that matters is that, we are together. And we're having fun. :))

I was really glad that I saw them tonight. Because I really miss them. Talking with them on the phone or texting them is not enough. We seldom see each other because we have different schedules. Especially now that we are already in our third year at college, I know that we won't have enough time to be with each other always.

Well well. It's been what? 7 years? 6 years? Too long. First met them during our first year at high school. Year 2003 to be exact. Now, it's 2009 and we're still friends. We are still there for each other. Although we have different courses, and in the case of Cathy and Sydney, different schools, we still try to find time to see each other. The friendship is still there and still getting stronger by the minute.

I'm happy 'cause through all these years, they remain the most loving and fun and caring and SUPPORTIVE group of friends. They haven't change. Hmm. There might be some changes, but I think most of it are good naman. Maybe these changes even help us to be a better person than before. So, with change or without change, they will always be the circle of friends that I learned to love from the start.

"FRIENDS, we might not see each other everyday, but I know that in our hearts, we're always together. Love you all."

Loving friends.

Finally.

I've opened up my latest problem-slash-worry to my two girlfriends. It's something that's been bugging me since Friday. But if I'm true to myself, it's been bugging me since after my birthday. Almost two months ago. Maybe for some, it's not that big of a deal. But for me, it is. Very. Today, it felt good that I have been able to tell my two girlfriends about this matter. They offered some advices. But the best part is that, they listened. Truly listened to my ranting about this particular person. I found some peace.. hehe.. and also some company. Some comfort in them.


I find it hard at first to open up with them. It's because our other friend is involved. I feel like if I tell them about this, they might think I'm bad, or paranoid for thinking that way. I don't know. There's just too many consequences ,running in my mind, that might happen if I tell them . Too many what-if's.

But nobody could blame me for thinking this way. Feeling this way. Acting this way. I'm no superhuman. I have feelings. I have instincts. It's just that sometimes, there's this voice inside of me that's saying "oh oh.... there...is... something wrong." And there are times that I can feel that there is really something wrong going on in here. I mean, you are one of my closest friends, why are you with him?

Okayy. I'm being cheesy again. This entry is supposed to be about my lovely friends. uhhh.

Anyway. I feel glad 'cause I have these friends of mine. We might not understand each other sometimes, but I think that's just part of it. I believe that with every problem, with every misunderstandings, we grow stronger.

This day, we even told each other that from now on, we'll try to be more open about everything. I think this could make our friendship last and grew more intact. And a lot stronger, of course.

A bit of advice I can share with you. Love your friends and be true to them. Because without them, our lives are, in some ways, incomplete.


"A true friend is someone you can trust with all your secrets."